Whilst the usual storm rages outside, I thought I'd take the opportunity to write the post that has been brewing for a long time…
Last week as I rode the bus from Butare to Kigali, out of the window I surveyed the luscious green pastures that make up the landscape of Rwanda; I saw children playing on the roadside whilst women sold fruit and veg from wicker baskets and mats on the floor and then I watched as a girl, no older than 10, kneel down, bend over and pick up a MASSIVE bundle of sticks, nay branches that were probably twice her weight and three times her size and effortlessly balance them on her head. Where she was going, I had no idea but as she began to walk, it dawned on me - I AM IN AFRICA!
So I have been here a little over two months and life, well life is life. There are times of sheer joy and satisfaction and then there are moments of frustration and challenges but that happens anywhere…
My thoughts as I rode the bus soon turned to why I am here and what got me here in the first place. It has been a LONG journey - a game of cat-and-mouse with a bit of Jonah (and the whale) mixed in (or perhaps not - maybe the journey here was MEANT to take the time that it did?)
The story begins OVER TWELVE years ago - I remember vividly being at church, the sermon was on missions, particularly on the local mission field but for some reason, God spoke to me and said that mine was to be somewhere that was completely out of my comfort zone - thoughts of Africa then filled my mind. At the time I was about to embark on my gap-year before university and Africa was NOT in my travel itinerary…I promptly left the service half-way through because I did not like what I was hearing and I pushed the 'calling' to as far back in my mind as I could - and there it stayed for many years after.
Five years later I was living in Hong Kong. Little did I know that the seed that had been sown all those years back was slowly being watered. My church in HK was very much S.E Asia focused in terms of missions and although I was living in S.E Asia - it did not excite me - but at any mention of Africa, something within me stirred. It wasn't until a close friend of mine told me that she had decided to leave her comfortable life in HK to move to Ghana - it was somewhat out of the blue but as soon as the words left her mouth and hit my ears, my spirit leapt - I'd never felt anything like that moment before nor anything since…I was excited, mostly for her but I knew then that my calling had returned. This time I did not run but I began to think about it more seriously. I started to look into ways that I could get out to Africa - but what would I offer? It was clear that I needed to be equipped - and so began the process of becoming a QUALIFIED teacher (as sad as it is - experience doesn't count for anything without a certified qualification…)
I first heard about VSO when I began my PGCE (post grad. cert. in Education) and I loved what they stood for - exchanging skills to promote sustainability…so seed two was planted. I looked briefly (but never seriously) into christian organisations that sent teachers out to Africa but VSO kept coming back into my thoughts despite it not being a christian organisation. I decided to apply after completing my NQT year - I was in a bit of a limbo state as I was a maternity-cover teacher and with my contract coming to an end, it was time to consider my next move. Yet, no sooner had I applied to VSO, an opportunity to vie for a permanent position at the school I was at arose - I was torn. I loved the school and I would have job security but I knew that Africa was calling. In the end, I got the position at the school and shortly after, VSO told me that they did not have a position for me…and so I happily settled into life in London. I loved my job, I was growing ever-closer to my family and I had gained a new family through moving to my local church - life was good.
I received an email from VSO a year later asking me to reapply. My world was turned upside down - I was comfortable, I was settled - all I could do was pray. I'm not sure what prompted me to do so, but I reapplied - half-heartedly. I did not want to move again but was this God calling? With every stage of VSO's vigorous application that I got through - the reality hit me…God told me that he'd take me out of my comfort-zone, it was time to trust and walk. I had talked for such a long time to several people about Africa, that when God calls, it doesn't mean 'now' - there's a process of planting, feeding and then harvesting…I just assumed that I'd be 'feeding' for a little while longer but evidently not.
Deciding to leave London was one of the hardest decisions I've probably made. Aside from job security, a loving family and excellent friends, I had a new niece (who I love and adore more than I could ever imagine)…why would I leave all this for something unknown? Yet despite my unwillingness to leave all this, as cliche as it may sound, I was filled with an incredible peace about VSO and being placed in Rwanda.
And so this brings me to where I am now. As mentioned in previous posts - exactly WHY I'm here, I'm not entirely sure. Sometimes I think I'm here to support or exchange whatever skills I have but more recently I feel as though I'm here to receive. Through the many stories that I've heard, all relating to the events of '94 I am left with an incredible sense of thankfulness for being who I am. There's not much I can do for these people, some of whom I now call friends but listen and offer them my prayers - last night, I was told that that was enough and my heart broke.
I know I'm not here to change the world but I came wanting to visibly see the change that I would make but last night, I realised that I've already made a difference - even if it is to just a small circle of friends, simply by being a friend.
No comments:
Post a Comment