Pre-empted Reverse Culture Shock

This post is inspired by my friend Kate who wrote a blog entitled, 'You know you've been in Rwanda a long time when...'  

I thought I'd write a list of some of the quirks that I'll find strange being back in London - many of the things cross over into Kate's list.

So here goes, in no particular order - and apologies on the length of it:

1. A toilet that flushes
2. A seat that is properly fixed and fitted to the toilet
3. Hopefully not having to pee in a bush next to a colleague...(yes, that happened once - we were at a funeral and there was nowhere to go...she just suddenly lifted up her skirt, squatted and indicated I do the same...not in sight of others mind, but hidden behind some bushes...)
4. Water coming out of a tap and more specifically, HOT water coming out of a tap
5. What's a jerry-can?  Storing water?  Whyever would you do that?  Collecting rainwater - who does that?
6. Baths and showers...no more bucket washes!  Wahoo!
7. Walking out of my door and not feeling like a zoo animal/celebrity (there is a fine line!)
8. No 'muzungu, muzungu' cries out of nowhere
9. Having clean feet
10. The absence of 6am sunrises and 6pm sunsets where the sun blazes red and the mist blankets the lush green hills and valleys - of course there'll be sunrises and sunsets but I'll likely be sleeping or still at work...
11. The limited view of stars, planets, constellations...not being able to see the Milky Way even! :(
12. Being faced with a variety and choice of food, flavours and brands - not being restricted to '4 carbs on a plate' type of meal...not a cassava or cooked green banana in sight 
13. Oven, microwave, gas hobs, kettle, toaster, sandwich toaster...at least I can light a charcoal stove now!
14. Having supermarkets, bakeries, clothes shops, shoe shops, make-up counters - endless choice and at any time of the day...consumerism beyond need and even logic...
15. Not having to handwash my clothes - having a washing machine and a dish washer...(also known as 'mother'...)
16. Receiving calls from said-mother at 6pm asking if I'll be home for dinner...or when I'll be home because it is late and a single girl shouldn't be travelling around so late at night alone...I'll forever be 6 years old in her eyes...
17. No longer receiving random calls from strangers that I do not recall giving my number to...I will continue to ignore numbers that are not stored in my contacts...
18. Not being run over/surrounded by a mass of Moto-taxis - can't quite see black cabbies doing that...
19. Having a free hand where once a moto-helmet was surgically attached to it...
20. Giving thanks that waiting an hour for a bus is acceptable because it's far better than waiting for hours on end for it to FILL and be full before it moves 
21. Rush-hour squeeze has nothing on 26 people wedged into a 15-seater bus - or being sat on by the 'convoy'...
22. The sight of people using toothpicks to not only dig out the goat wedged in their teeth but also having a good dig in their ears too...replaced with people simply digging for gold on the tube/bus...(which they also do here in Rwanda but worst of all, they often reach out to shake your hand with the dirty member/s upon seeing you...)
23. Monday night family Skypes will be done IN PERSON!!!  Hello Olive, hello Max :)
24. Being woken by the sound of cars rather than mooing cows and bleating goats
25. "Callixte, uri he?"  Where are you night guard?
26. Walking freely down the street without having to greet EVERYONE that passes me by - ignoring and being ignored, gotta love British culture/conservativeness
27. Where 8am meetings actually start at 8am...
28. Being stuck in traffic - joys!  Driving again = scary but liberating!
29. Buggies and having my ankles bruised by them and men with babies...not a man in sight with a baby strapped to them but women are a-plenty, even during trainings and meetings
30. Mutzig and Primus do not get a look in when cocktails, prosecco and champagne are on offer
31. Simply getting into bed, no faffing around with tucking in the mossie-net...or sleeping in a sleeping bag liner in dodgy guesthouses...
32. Fitted sheets and duvet covers :)

This list could go on - perhaps it'll need a second installment next time - maybe when I've actually moved back to London.  My flight date has been set for the Easter weekend - 4th/5th April...watch this space.